The party got themselves involved in a bar fight after being assigned a mission to assassinate the Tash’sa Tribal leader. The fight lasted for roughly four minutes and everyone proceeded to go to bed for the night. Upon awakening at dawn, Druhine Smidt encountered a gnome vendor who sold him a talking teapot.
The party made it to the old ruins where the tribe is based and entered. First room was a library with a stray boa constrictor that attacked Rurik Lutgehr and Aramil Nailo. Aramil cast a spell, befriending the snake and having it flee.
Aramil set off a dart trap, but evaded it. Druhine, not wanting the trap to go off again, accidentally activated the trap while trying to permanently disarm it, causing it to hit Aramil.
The party encountered a training room and began sparring to blow off stress and a Lizardfolk sentry ambushed Rurik, knocking him out. The Lizardfolk interrupted Aramil and Druhine’s wrestling match and fought the two. They killed the Lizardfolk and revived Rurik and heard whimpering from one of the adjacent rooms.
They investigated and found a bound and tortured man. They freed him, rested and moved on. They then moved into a high ceiling room, which slowly collapsed. They found that the entire room was a hallucination and nothing happened. They then found themselves in a small room with a chasm and a treasure chest. Smidt made it over the chasm and brought the treasure to everyone, and also encountered a statue from a bygone age.
Druhine and Aramil went back to the training room and finished their sparring session. Druhine left while Aramil checked on the prisoner and found him transforming into a weretiger. The elf fled and told his two friends while they encountered a switch to a secret door. The moved back to the library and found one of the bookshelves had moved aside. They went inside and found a magical portrait that spawned a neverending horde of zombies. The weretiger burst in behind them right when they moved on into the next hallway, barring the door shut.
The found a crypt filled with sarcophagi from an age where the ruins belonged to human lords, and found that the Lizardfolk put their dead in there. They also found, in a nearby room, plans to invade Seawell on the summer solstice (that day) and a enchanted statue.
The sarcophagi opened to reveal Lizardfolk skeletons, and a portcullis snapped shut, blocking Rurik and Aramil’s wolf from the other two. They engaged, with Druhine coming close to death before they finished the skeletons off. Druhine destroyed the statue, ending all magical effects and traps.
Moving back to the zombie room, they found the portrait summoned all the zombies, and the weretiger, back into the portrait, sealing it forever.
The party crested the hill to find the town of Seawell in flames, with Lizardfolk warriors dotting the streets, attacking everyone in sight. The most obvious major areas of battle are is the Chapel, the Docks, the Townhall and there is a mob forming outside of the Chimera and Pony.
The party decided, what with the flames and murder and stuff, that the best course of action was to enter the town. Upon reaching the warring city, the party noticed a guard with a spear rammed through his stomach. Feeling mercy for the poor dying guard, Aramil attempted to heal this man. Little did he know, Jesus had entered his body and the guard with a spear through his body no longer had a spear in his body. The guard graciously thanked him and informed the group, to everyone’s surprise, the town was being attacked by Lizardfolk. After answering some useless questions, he was off to probably get stabbed again.
The party then went off to look for something to do in the middle of a burning city. They came upon two sights, a stable that was on fire and a small wooden hut. After a stern debate, the group entered the hut. The group managed to open a door, then went on to notice the three, generally unhappy, Lizardfolk just kinda hanging out in the hut. The three Lizardfolk, being part of an angry army, immediately attacked the group. The epic fighters of justice took there stance; Stogar on the right, Rurik in the middle, and Aramil on the right. A battle of not very, but kinda epic proportions began. Aramil stabbed his Lizardfolk to death, Rurik freaked out and destroyed his Lizardfolk badly and Stogar shot and stabbed his Lizardfolk. Druhine showed up after the fight.
After shaking off their battle wounds, the party of epicness walked to the center of town. The group noticed that three Lizardfolk were gang fighting this random guy, and one was attacking a woman with a baby. Aramil immediately attempted to stop the axe bearing, woman attempted murdering Lizardfolk. He shot and missed. During this shot; Druhine, Stogar, Rurik, and Aramil’s incompetent wolf sometimes went on the offensive against the three gang-fighting Lizardfolk. To save me from rewriting this whole event, as I forgot most of it, I’ll summarize it; Rurik did not kill anything, Stogar shot some things, Druhine ended up killing two, Aramil failed to save the lady (She got to watch her baby get cut in half by the Lizard folk before she died) and killed the Lizardfolk that killed her, and random guy killed one.
After the battle, the random guy revealed himself to be Captain Kettil. Appreciating their service to save his life, he offered them safe passage out of Seawell in an hour or two. Captain Kettil ran off on some adventure that none of the party members would ever know about… OR WOULD THEY!?!
After Captain Kettil took his leave, the group turned their attention to a clanging sound behind them. The noticed a single building behind them. They managed to talk to a small group of wounded survivors, who made the noise. The group asked for medical supplies and, to the shock of the audience, the impromptu medical facility was not swimming in medical supplies. The group left towards city hall.
At city hall, the party of legendary proportions looked to their left to see what looked like a mob of probably angry people. There was yet another heavy conversation as whether or not to handle the rather large group of more-angry-than-a-soccer-mom-at-the-short-sex-scene-in-Mass-Effect mob. After a lot of talk, the group went into city hall.
Inside, the group saw four doors; one left, one right, and double doors straight ahead. The group had yet another fierce debate and decided the double doors would be easiest. Aramil and Druhine stepped up, and immediately verbally debated as to who should kick the door in. After a heated debate with many feelings hurt, the two remembered that whole double door thing. They broke the door in and found; a desk, four doors (Left, right, center left and center right), a fire and a super erotic stone on the floor. Being a dwarf and unable to control himself, Rurik went to the stone and started fondling it. Stogar followed Rurik, amazed at his love of all things stone. Aramil and Druhine went to the desk: Schmidt behind it Aramil in front of it. Schmidt noticed that the fire seemed a little hot, but ignored it because the money in the desk was seductively calling his name. Druhine barely had time to grab the bag of money before it was on top of him. An Azer had attacked. Druhine was immediately knocked out. The fire dwarf thing of murder jumped over the table to attack Stogar, who had taken position to attack it. After many rounds of near death, the Azer lay dead. The group curled up into a ball of manliness and only cried for twenty minutes.
After the defeat of the Azer, the group continued to search the building. The center doors were barricaded with heavy stuff. The group had a less fierce, but equally hurtful debate on which door to go through; left or right? The group decided left. The party went through a door to find a dead man and some bookcases in the room. Rurik searched the dead guy, found money, and gave it to Schmidt because he is a nice guy and would never take money from his friends. The group noticed another door on the left from the door the just entered through. The party cautiously walked through the door, constantly searching for traps. Then it dawned on them; this was a CITY HALL, not a dungeon. The group rounded a corner to see another set of double doors. The group listened closely. They heard something along the lines of, “Good, good. And what of that troublesome group of adventurers?” “They should be dead by now, sir” “No they’re not, you imbecile. They’ve been listening the whole time.”
The group kicked in the door to see a hooded drow walking down to the bowls of hell, or the sewers. Whatever floats your boat. The group got to see four angry Lizardfolk and four angry guards walking aggressively at them. The four took their stand at the doorway. Stogar shined bright during this fight, killing the most things. Followed by; Aramil and Schmidt,then Rurik in last with one brutal kill. The group took one guard hostage, got little information then made a tough, split second decision to follow Tanis (The guy talking to the drow and the guard captain). They followed Tanis through a tunnel that led them to the docks of Seawell. The group yelled and Tanis turned.
The group quickly decided how the fight would go down; Schmidt and Rurik would charge in and fight in close quarters, while Aramil and Stogar would cover them with arrows. After a hard battle, Tanis lay defeated. Tanis’s last words were, “You have brought the wrath of my employer on yourselves”. At this, Schmidt needed to recover his manhood by saying something just as epic. “Hey, Schmidt happens”.
As would be expected, a hoard of guards showed up to see four people standing over their dead guard captain. They were not entertained. Kettil, you know that guy you forgot about, showed up and shouted, “HEY GUYS! THE BOAT IS READY!”
So the party, with Kettil ran from the hoard of not entertained guards. The guards shot arrows at Stogar. He fell, but managed to crawl into the sea and begin taking care of his business. Seconds later, another arrow shot him in his manhood. He sank to the bottom of the sea. He had died as he had lived